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Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

Ephesians 4:9 MSG


My ability to control what I say is at best …. random. I wish I were better at making each of my words a gift for my wife…. a gift to help her and to build her up. Instead I so often say things that are unhelpful and selfish and bring her down.

It seems that sin and our tongues have a close relationship. One expresses the other so clearly!

Elsewhere in the Bible we are encouraged to listen more and speak less, but here we are encouraged to pick and express our words carefully and for the benefit of others. Kind words help others to grow and blossom into the person God created them to be.

I’d like to be known as a person who helped bring about blossom, wouldn’t you?

Is there anything that you need to change to help this come to be?

Prayer (as a couple)

Dear lord, our words are so important, they can build our loved ones up or tear them down. Help me to control what I say. May my words be helpful and a gift to build ….. (partner’s name) up. I cannot do this alone for I am full of sin, help me I pray through the power of the Holy Spirit for I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Prayer (for others)

Dear Lord, we lift up …. and …. to you. May what they say be helpful to one another, like a gift. Help them through the Holy Spirit to stop saying things that tear each other down and instead say things that build one another up. For we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.


One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend. (Proverbs 22:11 NIV)