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Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12


It was a shock to the system early in our marriage to discover that one of us was tidy and one of us wasn’t. In fact we defy the stereotypes, as it’s my husband who’s the tidy one! At times it has caused a fair amount of conflict and we’ve found the worst times have been when we’ve allowed all the ways in which we’re different to pile on top of each other.

If we’re not careful we totally forget all the things that brought us together and only see what we don’t like. The only way to be free of these attitudes of irritation is to adopt the attitude that God has set out for us.

Differences can actually be a blessing. They make us more interesting, they encourage us to work together, can sometimes complement our own gifting and other times complete things that lack in us as individuals.

Which differences are a blessing to you?

Prayer (as a couple)

Dear Lord, thank you so much for making us unique and different. Thank you for all the ways in which our differences compliment or complete us. Please help us with those differences we find harder to understand. Amen

Prayer (for others)

Heavenly Father, we pray for ___ and ___ whose differences are being overwhelming to them. Please give them a fresh insight into those things that unite them. Amen

Final Quote

It’s not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences. Audre Lorde

Listen to Andy & Fiona Banes of Time for Marriage talking about how they learnt to deal with their differences on the Marriage Challenge Podcast.