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As a nosy teenager I once asked my Mum why she married my Dad. She was a stunning woman and my Dad was just an ordinary looking chap. She replied without hesitation, ‘He was kind.’

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you; compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offence. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.’ Colossians 3:12-14 MSG


Our culture thinks first of love in its romantic dressing up clothes. Falling in love seems so overwhelming. The intensity gradually softens over time but sometimes we hanker after that heart stopping ‘falling’ mode of love perhaps worrying in case we are falling out of love.

Here is an antidote. “Love is our basic all-purpose garment!” Perhaps like jeans or a t-shirt? Not especially fancy! So perhaps love looks more like kindness and this is the real gold in our lives?

The heady days were the sparkle that attracted us to the deep hidden gold!

Read the verses again. They are a good model for marriage.

Prayer (as a couple)

Dear God, thank you for our love. Thank you for its intense power, especially in the early days of knowing each other. Thank you for the steady strength of kindness and thoughtfulness in our life together. Teach us to mine this gold in our lives and value it as precious and costly. Teach us the practical lessons of humility and forgiveness as we move together through all the seasons of life. Amen

Prayer (for others)

Dear God, help our friends ___ and ___ to value the steady every day qualities of their love just as much as the passionate days. Help them grow in kindness and humility they show to each other. Amen