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Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Ephesians 4:26-27 MSG


I was rather relieved when a wise friend told me that it was OK to be angry, it is not a sin. He said: “Look at anger as a signal; that something is wrong, that you are entering a zone where there is high potential to sin; be careful about how you think and what you do when you are angry. It’s a signal that action is required, make wise choices.” He clearly understood anger.

I find it easy to let things fester and simmer. When asked “what is wrong?”, I say “nothing” in a cross way that indicates that “something” is wrong. Sometimes I think I use my “simmering” as a way of getting back at my wife … subtle revenge?

The most useful thing I’ve learned to do is to place my anger at ‘Jesus’ feet’. Romans 12.19 says: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” He will judge us all, fairly and squarely and so I can leave the judgement and the justice to him. That makes it a lot easier for me to ‘let go’. Phew.

How do you behave when you are angry with your partner?

What can you do to stop the devil getting a foothold?

Prayer (as a couple)

Dear Lord, Thank you for …. (partner). Lord help us both to recognise when we are angry and behave in a loving way. Help me to be self controlled and to avoid doing or saying anything that you would not wish. I want to avoid sin and I need your help Father. In the power of the Holy Spirit help me to let go of my anger and to remember that you are the perfect judge and you will ensure justice is done. Protect me from the evil one, particularly when I am angry. Amen

Prayer (for others)

Dear Lord, we lift up …. and …. to you. Help them to recognise when they are angry and to respond in a way that pleases you; peacefully and quickly. Please fill them with your Holy Spirt and give them wisdom and help them to be loving towards one another. Amen.


An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin. (Proverbs 29:22 NLT)