Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. 1 Peter 3 8-9 (MSG)
Agreement was crucial in selecting our life partner – not romantic – not much talked about, but fundamental. If we “fall out” it’s about an unresolved disagreement. Healthy married life involves negotiating agreement – a basis for happiness. We say someone is “disagreeable” if they are contentious, contrary and prickly. Let’s take a fresh look at ourselves! Am I disagreeable? Have I fallen into bad habits of retaliation or sarcasm or just being obstructive? If so why? God’s solution is forgiveness and grace. Take courage in both hands and talk and pray together.
Prayer (as a couple)
Father, thank you for our marriage and the harmony we have known in our lives. Help us deal with any areas where we have allowed disagreements to become established. We are afraid of addressing difficult areas but help us face up to any “no go” areas and deal with past hurts lurking there. Your Son taught us how to forgive. Help us have faith Lord Amen
Prayer (for others)
Lord God, We think of _______ and _______ We can see that bitterness is growing under the surface. Please help them to see what is happening. Then give them the courage to work the issues through and please Lord provide any external help they may need. We trust your promise to be with us through “thick and thin” and not least in our marriages, please remind them of this, Amen
Sometimes the things we say sarcastically are what we’re really thinking deep down. (Ritu Ghatourey)