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“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2.


Our marriage is 29 years old and is good. But of late we found ourselves falling into some bad habits; bad for our relationship and bad for each of us. It happened over time and we found ourselves getting irritable with one another and falling into other unhealthy behaviour. We talked and prayed and tried to change, but we kept on slipping back into those unhealthy patterns. It began to affect all areas of our relationship. It took one of us to say “come on, this isn’t good, we need some help” and we found a local Christian counsellor. She helped us to ‘dig deep’ and uncover ‘inherited sin’ which we had been unaware of and which needed to be dealt with. We’d been believing lies about ourselves and hadn’t even realised it. Those lies led to the unhealthy behaviour, anger and irritability.

Now it feels like we’ve dropped off unwanted baggage. Phew. I’m glad that we didn’t accept second best. I’m glad we asked for help.

Is there unhealthy behaviour that you are struggling with? It may get worse if you don’t deal with it. Why not seek help? God doesn’t want second best for us.

Prayer (for us)

Dear Father, Sometimes there are areas of our lives that are controlled by sin that we aren’t aware of and we don’t know why we behave the way we do. Sometimes we want to change but don’t know how to change. Father God, you have given us a Spirit of boldness and truth, help us to step out in faith and not to accept second best. Give us the faith to take action to change so that we may be more like you. If we need somebody else alongside us then help us to find that person. Amen.

Prayer (for another couple)

Dear Father. We lift up _____ and _____. We pray that their relationship will grow healthily and increasingly reflect your image. We pray that they won’t accept ‘second best’. If help is needed then we pray that they will seek it out and you will bring the right help alongside them and that help will be full of your wisdom. Amen.

Resources to Help

For Christian counselling (couples and individual) try the ACC (Association of Christian Counsellors)

For nationwide couples counselling try Relate