Walk straight, act right, tell the truth. Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame your neighbour; despise the despicable. Psalm 15:2-4 MSG
It’s so easy. And almost fun. ‘Why didn’t you…?’ ‘If only you had….’ ‘Who left the milk sitting out?…’
Once we start firing blame-bullets at each other, someone’s going to get hurt. Sometimes it feels like we’re competing to win the prize of laying fault on the other person. Maybe it’s not my fault this time, but what about last time? I’m not Little Miss Perfect. ‘Telling the truth’ in the verse above has to do not only with what crosses my lips but with what lurks in my heart. Even though I know I’m forgiven in Christ, there is still some sinful sludge down there. Icky goo that I don’t want anyone to see, like bad habits or attitudes. That’s what I need to get upset about, not minor infringements by my partner.
Is it really so important who left the milk out, or who forgot to take out the rubbish? God looks through my attempts to lay blame on my spouse and sees what I’m hiding. Let’s pray we’ll have the courage to deal with the essential things and let the rest go.
Prayer (as a couple):
Heavenly Father, help us to be more eager to apologise for our own faults than to blame each other. Remind us now if there’s something for which we need to ask forgiveness. Amen.
Prayer (for others):
Lord Jesus, we especially pray for _______ and _______. Give them grace and humility to live with each other in a loving way, in spite of the irritations of daily life. Amen.
Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 LB